‧͙⁺˚*･༓ BEFORE WE WERE BORN REVIEW - MINOR SPOILER ♡

"If newborns could speak human words, they would have many stories to tell, stories of past lives of sisters and brothers who remained in spirit grieving their departure."

{↪MINOR SPOILER}

☾Trigger Warnings: This tackles very dark subject matter including but not limited to, all forms of abuse, drugs, alcoholism, and some SERIOUS heartbreaking stuff☽

↪Story Synopsis: Elia and Kalli are soulmates who travel together through lifetimes. This time, in 1977, Kalli is reborn as Joy Sanders to a family who instantly adores her, but Elia, who chooses a mother based solely on her proximity to Kalli, fares less fortunately. He is reincarnated as Jeremy Blake, born prematurely and affected by fetal alcohol syndrome. But he is keenly intuitive and can hear the voices of the spirits who guide him in his new life. Fiercely intelligent and strong willed Joy becomes his closest childhood friend and protector. Together they form an unbreakable alliance.

↪Length: 352 pages 

↪Rating: 4.75

★★★★☆

↪TLDR; I’m heartbroken, I’m crying, I loved it.

↪Review: 

First off, my thanks to the lovely author for the advanced reader copy. This review is being voluntarily given and contains my honest thoughts and opinions. 

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My thoughts on this book are both complicated and pensive, albeit always positive. It took me a long while to get through the entire book, simply because of the heavy topics and the cutting emotional rollercoaster that was ‘Before We Were Born.’ It’s a read full of emotional complexities and relatable characters. And as I begin to form my thoughts about it into a review, I realize I cannot quite grasp the effect this had on me in words. It was all of the best happy emotions, and all the tragedies of life and it's unfairness - that I felt as I lay reading. And that is to say in the most complicated way, I loved it.

Elia and Kalli are representative of what I call ‘light shower’ love (I totally titled this based on the Melanie Martinez song don’t come for me👆). This is basically, in short, a love that is so pure, understanding, and gentle. A very RARE kind of love to see in most media, but especially books where all the rage nowadays is ‘possessive’ or even, in my VERY humble opinion - glorified abuse. They become reincarnated into Jeremy (Elia's soul) and Joy (Kalli's soul). They’re cute children and comfort each other in very special ways that only each can understand. And the author was talented enough to make me believe that truly only they understood one another - inherently. In a way, the relationship between Elia and Kalli reminded me of my own relationship and in that way, I was able to get a lot more invested. Their dynamic, even as children, was extremely well written. It was such a pleasant surprise to see child characters who were written realistically, but also weren't annoying. Too many novels fall into the trap of writing children to a point where they annoy the reader - this was not one of those novels. I wanted badly to protect Jeremy, and steal him away much like Joy wanted to. There's an adorable scene that conveys what's at stake if they are separated. Jeremy is spending the night at Joy's when they're both 8, and though they are sleeping in different rooms Joy sneaks into her older brothers room where he is sleeping - and falls asleep on the floor beside Jeremy. In the morning, when her parents find them, they describe them as those ink pictures you fold over to look identical:

"That's what joy and Jeremy look like to me, the way they're holding each other. They're almost identical."

Bob though about it for a moment. "Like a butterfly," he suggested. "Two wings on the same butterfly." (pg 37, Dayan)

AAAAA SO CUTE WHAT

my real reaction

And then I became inconsolable as I watched them be torn apart (somewhat spoiler-y I'm sorry) and soon begin to forget about one another. Time waits for no one, I guess - and neither does life.

Don’t let this make you think both characters can’t stand on their own, not that they’d ever want to! But, they are absolutely capable character's that you can follow even when they are without one another. I felt like the third person point of view really helped with this. It tied in with the theme of reincarnation and spiritualism, like you're watching through the eyes of some unknowable force that is loving but stern, accompanied by the wisdom of it's author. It doesn't drown out the character though, and all their thoughts and motivations are logically explained to the reader in an olive branch of sorts. 

For instance, without Jeremy, I knew Joy was going to fall into a very stereotypical pit of falling in with the wrong crowd, losing her innocence, losing her individual identity to social media and pressure and sex. And she indeed, did do that. The exposition surrounding Joy's journey and ultimate identity crisis without her other half is what made it justifiable, and not stereotypical per say. Naive, snooty, and capricious. She is still just a young girl trying to find her place in relationships, the world, and trying to get the upper hand. 

Jeremy is wise and sweet, and also an empath. I really never had any qualms with his character, he was genuine and struggled a lot. My perfect SWEETHEART. The abuse itself against him, is handled as well as it can be given the subject. With Belinda (Jeremy's mother) being the main perpetrator in the beginning of the novel. It is not glorified or justified, and while it does exist within the story much like it does in real life, it is never without consequences be they big or small. And it stayed away from caricatures of trauma, especially of the abusers. No cartoonish antagonist and it never stereotyped it's characters as 'victims' who eventually become dramatically jaded, and I loved that. Everything from the author's side was handled very maturely and with attention to detail.

This is not to say, the book did not frustrate me, the author does love to play with your heartstrings. This book really focuses internal conflict more than external. As stated earlier, this book is an emotional rollercoaster and you should be prepared for it. I don't want to spoil anything, so I can't say anymore besides the character's decisions can be frustrating. Especially because it's a very slow burn story, or maybe I just took too many emotional support breaks oops - but to me it paced itself very purposely and slowly. I am someone who isn't particularly religious, but I found a lot of hope and comfort in this story and it's perspectives on the afterlife and reincarnation. Although, at first, I found the 'heaven' scene in the beginning hard to get into because of Elia's powers. I was unsure of how I'd feel, but I ended up really falling in love with the story of these two and the journey it took to reunite them.

This is a deeply thoughtful book, which had me reflecting on many of this life's questions, and the life beyond. The author's prose and style are imperative to the story and how it comes across, and it does her so much credit that I ended up annotating and saving so many quotes I found endearing in my journal. I would highly recommend this one, it gives a fresh perspective on romance and true love. It a passionate story that was written with sincerity. This will definitely be on my top 10 of 2023 list.

↪Bookish Pros:

♡ A high stakes romance

♡ Beautifully written and accompanied by a great third person narrative

♡ Fastidiously developed characters

♡ Bob is dad of the year IDC.

♡ The antagonist are not cartoonish, they are three dimensional and able of change

↪Bookish Cons:

♡ Kathleen Dayan will make you cry 5+ times.

♡ Some terms are out of date, and can be offensive but fit with proper terminology at the time like 'Mentally Retarded.'

♡ The characters *cough cough* Joy, can frustrate you with repetitive naivete

↪💌I’d Recommend To Fans of:

💌 Romance

💌 Christian Lit

💌 Spiritualism

💌 The Notebook

💌 Me Before You

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